impending.

what did you do? what did you get? who were you with? did you have fun? what did you drink? what did you say? what did you laugh at? did they give you a kiss? did you feel important and loved?

this is my impending lack of concern.
this is about my transition.
at least about one thing or another.
i can trade this care for another.

soon i wont even be here.
soon ill be somewhere new and different and fresh.
at least for a while.
where i can breath clean air from a place where the clouds look farther away.
little kids will laugh and play in the hot sun.
and maybe ill do a lot of crying, but it will be for a new and beautiful reason.
ill find new songs to sing out loud.
and take back new memories.
...at least if i can get the money.

this summer will be an adventure.
i need adventures with different and new people.
trips and rain and green things and sunshine and water and dresses and bikes.

haley told me i will learn to live a different kind of way
sometimes i feel so typical and over dramatic
its not like im the first person to ever feel this way

things i like right now:
1. vinyl records, hookah, sparklers, and laughing on the balcony at midnight.
2. "reality" tv shows about summer camps
3. eggo maple syrup cereal
4. soy iced chai
5. michael cera (boy from juno and nick & noras)
6. never wearing shoes.
7. still more mason jennings
8. She&Him and everything Zooey Deschanel does and is
9. my mom telling me that C's are okay this semester...? lol
10. collecting weird and mismatching mugs of canada and owls.

things i dont like:
1. the techno base booming through my floor every night from our kind friends down below.
2. the wind
3. pickles (always)
4. feelings too here-ish.
5. not having microsoft word. (what?)
6. stressing out=pig outs.
7. when other people make me smell their stinky hair.

have a beautiful and fresh weekend :)