time.

today was brill :)

2 months.
is that silly?

things that help:
1. my strong and loving savior named Jesus.
2. night times on balconies with friends
3. sarcasm
4. new music
5. free clothes from lindsays closet
6. the house on 16th street
-ivy
-honneysuckle
-sharing an alley with kate and lindsay
-potential grandparents next door with an indoor pool
-a fire place that promises warm nights with warm people
7. those people
8. not having you around.
9. Gods provision and getting 300 dollars for rwanda today!!
10. having no potential interest in anyone
-really this helps a great deal.
-not caring=not worrying=not hurting.
11. my mom loving me
12. people listening to me
13. art projects
14. sabrina ward harrisson
15. reading about other people being in love
16. summer trips and summer friends
17. lots of fruit
18. new dresses

it feels so much like summer
i feel normal most of the time
i feel emo sometimes
i feel like im getting old faster
ive stopped dressing up when i know youre going to be somewhere
a lot of my plans have changed
i am waiting on God for my next move
i still miss my best friend
but i know you're not around anymore
ive accepted a lot
im gunna be here an extra year
ryan adams is making my life.
i feel like i could write a book of poems
or just make a bunch of lists
but i dont want to be annoying
or over dramatic
but sometimes i feel like im ready for someone new to romance me
but then im immediately reminded of how unfair that would be to put someone else in that situation
and how unhappy that would make me.

eeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh doesnt matter.

what does matter?
1. i have an exam tomorrow
2 i leave for rwanda in a week and 3 days
3. God is faithful to me and deserves more of my time
4. im getting over tonsillitis far quicker than i could have predicted
5. im sleeping much better
6. i got 2 dresses, a skirt, a shirt, a bra, and one stellar headband for free today!
7. the more and more i fall deeper into the one who loves my soul beyond compare, the less i worry about the man who will be my second.
8. i still dont know what i want to do with my life (although, i suppose that isnt quite that important)

why worry?
life will happen
ill get overwhelmed and upset
and go over to kates apartment and throw oranges off the balcony and rip pages out from phone books
ill purposefully put on sad music and lay in my bed and cry
ill be unnecissarilly pathetic sometimes
but honestly, this too, along with everything else shall pass.

be sad.
be pissed off
be angry
be confused
but dont worry
lifes gunna happen whether you like it or not
we are children of the Lord :)