5 more days.

tomorrow im driving to Hobbs, NM....again.
2nd time in about a week id say.
no, its been exactly a week.
i lost my shot record that i need to get into africa, so theyre gunna give me a new one.
i planned on going alone, but now i have some friendly company coming with. :)

this morning was perfect i felt like.
wow it felt so long ago.
ive been up for a while.

it was foggy and overcast and a bit chilly
and we went to meet kate for coffee and breakfast at j&b's.
love that place.
i listened to Death Cab on the way there and the song "Your New Twin Sized Bed" sounded so beautiful driving through the old houses with ivy growing down the sides of them that dot Tech Terrace on my way to coffee.

driving home from coffee, my dear roommate kat noticed a house that was redoing their windows.
we pulled over and they were just going to get rid of all these old rustic window panes,
so instead, we took these jewels of a find off of their hands.
we're going to arrange them on walls around our house next year. :)

Gabi signed my lease today,
which means i can officially live in the house on 16th with the great back yard and lots of windows and ivy.
its going to be positively perf.
we're going to have lots of tea parties and outdoor fancy dinners in our beautiful backyard when its warm outside.
and huddle around our fire pit and drink hot coccoa when it turns winter.
oh the memories the five of us will share.

sometimes i forget that ill have school.
sometimes i dream up too many wonderful ideas and forget to leave out the moments where i will have to lock myself in my room and do papers and tests and french homework

maybe that will be all i stress about this year.
school.
can i confess something extremely honest and vulnerable for a moment?
there has never been a time in the last 4 years where i have not had some potential relationship impending with a boy.
and please, in whatever way you take that, please understand that i am not bragging.
i am rejoicing, because for the first time i am not worried.
i am not concerned.
i am not anxious.
i am not in a hurry.
and i am not wanting more than God gives me each day.

although sometimes its easier to say that i live better in the reality of martha stuart and southern living magazines
where every day is lots of fruit and making a dinner for the backyard
where every evening is warm and relaxing and restful
where people stop by unexpectedly and want to have tea and talk with you
where there are always front or back porches to swing on
and plants stay green forever.

i may be at a high risk of sounding cliche, but those are the moments i live for.
when the weather is just right enough to go exploring in the forests behind my grandparents pennsylvania cottage.
when you walk outside and the sun hits your shoulders and you go get a snow cone because there 1 dollar and taste out of this world!
when its 20 degrees oustide and you bundle up and load friends, a blanket, and a thermus of hot chocolate into your car and go look at christmas lights.

God is a gracious God to give us these moments.
these moments of bure bliss where we can look around at each other and not even need to say anything and just know that we are blessed.
that we are the lucky ones.
that God has provided us with all the we need to get through anything.
and we have love.
love that we can give away and love the we can rest in.
love that will give you the strength you need to get out of bed in the morning when you literally feel like the most pathetic person in the world.

we are all enough.
we are wonderfully and perfectly made.
our quircks, our sense of humor, our insecurities, our slip ups, and our epic moments of pride
all our gifts and our all faults make us perfect.
because my definition of perfect is someone who knows that they dont have it all together and is content in letting the light shine more than the darkness.


dang. aint nothin like it. lol
(please someone reading this blog get this reference)


Goodnight. :)