if we were birds, we'd all have tons of friends. :)

i forgot how good it feels to be spontanious.
i like the way smoke smells and dances through the air at night.
i love my room and all the colors in it. it feels exactly the way i want it to.
i enjoy the feeling of being on the brink of something.
im learning to hate my red hair less.

today i am wearing a shirt that fell on the ground and got dirt on it, and i decided to wear it anyways.
the Stars playlist on Pandora plays the most wonderous music in all the land.
i like opening up to people, and im good at it.
i like that i like coffee now, and i find it to be a good day when its vanilla toffee flavored day at j&b's. (today it was something icky)
i can see the places where ive grown up and im not that 18 year old girl from senior year anymore.
i understand why they tell you not to date your freshman year of college.
i understand a lot more now that ive made the mistakes.
i dont regret making the mistakes.
i like that ashley calls me whimsical, even when im not 100 percent sure what she means.
i like that people still see me for the person that i like.
ive been so flaky and weird and low profile lately that sometimes i feel like i come off as someone different than the person that i am when im at my best.
its good to hear that people like the same things that you like about yourself...that its not just you imagining something.
i have a love/hate relationship with the fact that right now, i feel like God is developing, and perhaps even creating, a side of me that i have never experienced or dealt with before.
i dont think i can explain how much i look forward to seeing elizabeth.
elizabeth is my best friend and she feels like home to me.
kate called me yesterday, shes back in the usa!!
it was such a weight off my shoulders to talk to my best friends.
she's so wonderful and real and im so greatful that shes my bestie.
sometimes i feel scared of growing up, and then sometimes i cant wait.

im learning,
im growing,
im listening to new music,
im rearranging my life, mostly because i have no choice.
i was forced out of something i thought was beautiful.
i was uprooted and picked out of the ground like a fruit before it is ripe.
it didnt feel right for a while, and i still dont feel all the way there yet.

but last night was mostly good because it helped me to realize that i am still the same person.
layers removed, in my comfort zone, i still act the same.
i still react the same way, i still worry about the same things.
the foundation of me hasnt changed.