Monday, June 15, 2009

just what the doctor ordered.

today it is 7:30 in the a.m. and i am sitting at J&B's by myself listening to Ryan Adams, eating an egg sausage and cheese bagel on wheat, and drinking an iced soy chai.

ashley and heath came into my room at 5 this morning with huge sheets over their head trying to scare me.
needless to say, i couldnt fall back asleep.

it feels good to be by myself in a place that im familiar with.
constant companionship from 17 people can be surprisingly exhausting.
this is just what i needed.

yesterday i was sitting in church and realized there are a few things that im wrestling with right now

1. the american church and its unnecessary facination with using big technology and flashy things in their services [sell jesus, not entertainment]
2. where does God want me to serve this year? I want to be proactive but i dont know where/how yet.
3. being more aware of what i need and not what i think i want. [listening and obeying]
4. being more patient and trusting God with my life. [bridge reference]
5. trying new things and hanging out with new people. [be more bold]
6. i should probably be more honest with people about how i feel.

i feel like i have nothing to lose anymore.
i would only lose if i didnt step out.
im in this place of not knowing, so why not explore?

i want to deal with the things that arent going to change instead of ignoring them.
ii want to scream things at people sometimes, but i dont think that will be fair.

i just talked to elizabeth online!
shes in germany at the moment.
it was so wonderful to get to talk to her!
since 7th grade we talked about traveling europe together, and now she got there without me.
im so happy for her but i miss my baby bear :(

alright, well, i leave to council ceta camp today and i still need to go home and back.

goodbye again lubbock...we shall meet again soon.

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